Dear Kids, to the left is a photo of Mummy. Not Granny, not Auntie K, not the lady opposite. I'm not quite sure how having my hair highlighted could have caused this much confusion, but I am dreading what will happen when I eventually pluck up the courage (and raid the Christmas fund) to have Botox.

I am really surprised that you would find it hard to tell the difference between me, the person who has been ever present, and my non identical sister who you have only just seen again after two years. She is also beautifully tanned, and has dark hair. As she is younger and more glamorous, I'm not too worried.

The really weird thing is not being able to tell me apart from Granny or Auntie K in the photos - particularly your (wrong) impression that I was also married to Uncle T. I am glad that we have corrected that misunderstanding, and that you no longer need to be worried about Daddy.